Apathy

I know I promised you a blog on relationship stuff, but it's gonna have to wait because Sistah T's got other stuff to sound off on. (I'm sure you were so disappointed. Whatever - you probably forgot, right? :-D) I'm leaving the comment area out on this one - it's not something I want your opinion on, it's just something for folks to think about. Besides, if you disagree with me, you have your own blog. :-D

I've found that what really gets me riled is the apathetic attitude of many college students. And it's not just toward their schoolwork - it ends up seeping out into their job searches, their activities, and their day-to-day interactions with people. It's a sweeping generalization, but it's true, even if you don't like admitting these sorts of things. I am not talking about laid-back personalities; I have no problem with folks who are not as high-strung (aka insane) or as driven as I am. I am talking about the kids who express absolutely no interest in anything. I have a name for it: the dead-dog look/syndrome.

I've noticed that this apathy usually stems from two main sources that are actually kind of related:

1. The individual is incredibly self-centered and egotistical, and he/she tries to emphasize that his/her abilities are the center of the universe in order to compensate for a lack of real skills; or
2. The individual is scared to pieces of really finding out what his/her strengths and weaknesses are (i.e., fear of failure).

I don't claim to have all the answers on this one, but I have observed enough from working in the Career Center to attending my classes to interacting with random people. I honestly cannot believe how cold and how outright hostile some of these students can be, even when you are trying to help them. I've found that those in category 1 talk a lot to try and save face - they act and sound like they don't care, but in reality they are afraid of how folks perceive them. The folks in category 2 are actually quieter, but they do hold the same fears in that they are afraid to ask for help even though they know they are in need of it. And the excuses I hear from all of them are atrocious.

My reaction to both groups are the same: snap out of it and shape up.

It's the same reaction my mother gave me when I was younger. If I ever showed one ounce of dead-dog, she'd give me an annoyed look and say, "hey, shape up." No one hates dead-dog syndrome more than my mother. Even if I was disinterested in something, she would say to me, "at least fake some interest - I hate that spoiled, lack-of-energy look." And you know what - she was right. The more you wallow in dead-dog syndrome, the more you justify your reason for being there. The only solution to dead-dog is to SNAP OUT OF IT YOURSELF.

Make no mistake - those who are apathetic are spoiled. They have so many good things offered to them that they no longer recognize a wonderful opportunity when it comes knocking. It is those who constantly seek opportunities, ask for help when they need it, and stay actively engaged in the learning process that will make it later on in life. These folks know that opportunities are available to those who want them and who don't give up, and they appreciate the help when they get it. Don't let any rotten psychologist tell you otherwise.

I am not the attitude police, and I know there's no way you can change or control apathetic individuals, but I do see it as a problem and I am just expressing my thoughts on that here. It is easy for anyone to make excuses and fall victim to dead-dog syndrome. It's much more difficult to be honest with yourself. But it's a necessary part of life - unless you enjoy fooling yourself.

BTW - as an addendum to last week's blog entry, I did end up getting a toaster at Target for $22.22, and thus far it has served me well. Thanks Josh, Camille, and Misha for the tips. ;-)