Are those hormones I sense?

Springtime. Birds are chirping, the sky is fair and blue, leaves are starting to emerge from trees... and people go crazy. They really do. All it takes is to coup people up in winter for 3 (6 if you're in the Midwest) months and voila! People start hooking up/breaking up, smile more when they're outside, frown more when they're inside. I think it's related to the air. There's definitely something floating around. Hormones, maybe? But this post is not about hooking up: it's actually about what I call the soap opera syndrome.

After 3 (again, Midwest=6) months of being bored with life, spring is the perfect time to sprout some nonsense into other people's lives. Drama queens shoot out from nowhere - some of them may be people you call your friends or acquaintances. In fact, quite a few of you (including the three people who read this blog and the others who don't know it exists) have expressed your disgust at how shallow people are and how they play tricks on you and how they've been talking about you behind your back. These sorts of things can happen year-round, but I've noticed that it really seems to explode in the spring.

Here's the thing. People will always talk about you, behind your back, in front of your face, upside down, whatever. They could be people that you are your best friends, and they could be people that you wouldn't touch with a 39.5 foot pole. So how do you deal? Expect it. And accept that it is not your problem. And if it's one of those middle-man situations (i.e., "she told me that you're a total [noun]", "he said that you are really [adjective]"), ignore it. Because that middle-man is a meddler who doesn't have enough going on in his/her life at the moment and is just trying to stir up some excitement. Maybe the person who you thought was speaking ill of you wasn't saying that at all - maybe it's the middle-man who's making the mess. And hey - if that person was a friend of yours and had an issue with you, he/she should just come and talk to you. Otherwise, it's not a real issue. Nothing happened.

Of course I'm not endorsing that you go and participate in meddling behavior. But you should know that not everyone lives by the same moral standards that you set for yourself, and at times they will try and take advantage of you. (Or maybe they're just itching for some action.)

Why should you believe me on this one? Because I went through it all before, from a very young age. This sort of thing started happening to me as early as elementary school. I used to get really upset, but I finally learned to stop being so reactionary and start being rational. I'd ask myself three questions. It was kinda like a flow chart. (Ha. I was born an engineer.)

1. Is it something I can change about myself, i.e., something I need to be more mature about? (if yes, go to 2; if no, stop because this is nonsense)
2. Did the offended individual approach me about it directly (vs. third party)? (if yes, go on to 3; if no, stop because this is nonsense)
3. Is the offended individual someone I respect and want to keep as a friend? (if yes, apologize and work on being more understanding; if no, avoid hanging around this person).

I specifically remember walking up to Dad out-of-the-blue as a fourth grader and telling him, "You know what? There's no such thing as world peace. And there will never be complete world peace." When Dad asked me why I felt that way, I responded with, "Because somewhere out there is someone who dislikes you for something that you can't change about yourself and that is not your fault. And nothing you do will ever be able to change their minds. It's their problem. You can't base your happiness off of people." At that moment, Dad realized that all of his "don't trust anyone" advice had worked and that his offspring had become more jaded than he ever was. :-) Yes, he was surprised, but there really wasn't anything he could say to that because what I said was for real.

As long as there are people around, there will be conflict of some sort. It's inevitable because everyone is different. You can minimize it if you look at things realistically and recognize what's important and what not to get so uptight about. To borrow a quote from my mom, don't fool yourself. So when springtime spews another emotional, adventure-seeking, hormonal drama queen/king at you, bat it back to where it came from.

BTW - some of you have been asking about posting comments. Unlike Xanga, you don't need an account to post a comment on a blog. Those of you who like to keep your comments to me incognito, just keep IMing or e-mailing them like you have always done. :-)