A compliment lesson

Dear men of Case,
A key ingredient in being able to woo the ladies is learning how to give compliments correctly. I can't tell you how many times I've seen you make attempts at giving women compliments only to hear them come out totally wrong. (It's no wonder some of you are still single...) This is not meant to bash you; rather, it is supposed to be an aid for you if you are trying to target smart women (don't use this if you just want to date a skank or a gold-digger... she won't know the difference and you'll be wasting your energy).

Good compliments:

• "You look nice today." A simple one for sure, but I put in the easy one so you don't actually have to identify any article of clothing and stress yourself out if you can't name it. If you're comfortable with it, you can even say "that color looks nice on you" to score yourself a couple of bonus points.
• "Great job on your presentation/project." Drop the whole competition thing - if she did a good job on something in class, she'll appreciate it if you tell her so. You can even say what part you liked or what you thought was interesting.
• "I like your haircut." I understand if you can't tell that she just got a 1-inch trim. But if she cuts a foot off of her hair, you should be able to notice that!

Bad compliments: (don't laugh, I was really on the receiving end of these)

• "Holy $#%^! You look different." The reason behind why this is a bad compliment is self-explanatory. If you can't tell why this one does not work, you might as well give up trying to pick up women now.
• "Why are you all dressed up?" Is it any of your business? You really have to watch your tone on this one - drop the "she is such an overachiever" sneer because it won't get you anywhere. If you are only curious, you can preface the question with "You look very nice today - did you have a presentation or an interview this morning?"
• "Your shirt/pants are sparkly/striped/colored." General rule: if you simply state a fact, it does not come off as a compliment.
• "You know, you only did well on that presentation/project because ______." Face it - if she did well on a task, she did well on it. Tell her she did a good job and move on, and don't act like a sore loser by pointing out what you thought was wrong. Bringing a girl down is not a great strategy if you are trying to win points.
• "Your hair looked so much better when it was long." Telling her after the fact doesn't get you anywhere. If you don't like the haircut, you don't have to say anything. And you know what? It's her hair and she can do anything that she wants to it. Deal with it.

After this tutorial, you should not be complaining to me about how you can't pick up women. (If by "women" you mean "hot babes with all body and no brains", then I'm sorry - I can't help you there.) Compliments don't have to be long, flowery, or drawn-out; if you notice something about her that is nice and you like it, she will appreciate it (and you) even more if you simply say it. If you can't bring yourself to say something nice, then that's a problem you should learn to overcome. Draw positive attention to yourself by complimenting her instead of negative attention by insulting her.

I hope this helps you in your pursuits.

Heart ya!
-Sistah T-

**I could have just as well titled this letter "dear Chinese people"... they're just as bad about giving compliments.