Sistah T's Version of Feminism

Man, I always seem to be on my soapbox when I blog. But that's what the blog is for, right?

This post's topic is feminism. Not the bra-burnin' type of feminism. No sirree. This is MY feminism. (Flamin' liberals: go write about yours in your own blog. Actually, you may be surprised... there are times that I sound liberal in this post. Gasp!) Now, I don't have time for a whole lot o' jibbah-jabbahrin', so I'll make this a list.

Sistah T's Rules of Feminism:
1. Do what you want, but take responsibility for your actions. Ladies, we are allowed to vote, hold jobs, run for office, join the military... face it, this country is a great place to be. Women have done great things throughout this country's history. But no one can have it all. You want the "equal rights"? Then you should stop expecting guys to open doors for you and start considering yourself eligible for the draft. You cannot sit there expecting all the privileges yet take on none of the obligations and responsibilities. (This is why I've always been against the notion of the ERA all along.) And respect working women and stay-at-home moms alike, because we each have our contributions to society - don't pressure someone to do what you did or make them feel like nothing just because you're married and they're not or you've got a powerful position in a huge company and they don't. Women who have high-paying jobs should be applauded alongside the women who are at home raising their kids to be proper adults. [And guys - don't you dare force your wives to do one over the other. It's her choice - she'll consult you, but ultimately it's her decision. If you pressure her to quit her job and stay home, or make her take a job that she doesn't want, you are asking for a lifetime of resentment and misery. But as usual, that's a topic for another time.]

2. Quit treating men like property. How many girl-talk conversations have I been in where someone talks about a guy as if he's a commodity? If you don't want your boyfriend talking about you like he "owns" you, then why must you do the same about him? Neither of you own the other one, so give each other some respect, both in front of each other and behind your backs. And talking about the quantity of men who adore you, as if they are notches on your belt? Child, please. It's not a competition. I thought only men did that, trying to best one another with the throngs of girls they get. Either way, it's not a healthy competition - ladies, we do not have to stoop to that level!! Come on!

3. Treat your other sistahs with respect. If there's anything I can't stand, it's the backstabbing nature of girls, especially when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. Want examples? Here are some direct quotes from conversations that I've been in:

• "I know he's got a girlfriend, but it's a long distance relationship, so it shouldn't last too much longer. It's no big deal. I can help break them up."

• "Well, I'm seeing this guy that I met at the bar. But I haven't told the other guy that I'm currently dating. But it's not that big of a deal. I'll tell him eventually. He won't care."

• "Well, my best friend and I don't really talk anymore. She dated this guy for like a year, and then I started going out with him like a week after they broke up and she flipped out. She's sooo selfish."

My reaction to each of these: I'm sorry. WHAT?!

I don't get it, girls - I thought this stuff only happened on Springer. It's enough to make me puke. Why is it that guys can follow those "off-limit" rules (i.e., if a guy is currently dating a girl, she's off-limits to the other guys for the time being), but we can't? Why don't we have respect for other girls? Can't we feel happy for them and their relationships? And how do you think the guy you're seeing feels when you dump him from some other trash that you were "seeing on the side"? I just hope he's as shallow as you are, so he won't get his feelings hurt...

My main problem with the feminism that pop-culture exudes is that it has created a generation of women with no class. Yes, we should have the job opportunities that men do. We should have a say in government. And yes, we are craftier than a lot of men. (Sorry guys... but it's true.) But we need to use that intelligence for good things, not to tear each other down. God gave us the ability to form friendships and to care for other people - have we forgotten about this? I ain't no Dr. Phil, but there has to be some way to stop the trashiness. Feminism has only given us women an excuse to be selfish - and it isn't right.