Break my heart for what breaks yours

Well, haven't blogged in a while, and a bit of a serious topic for today. It is the constant question of why bad things happen to good people.

My answer? Not a clue.

But as any good geek would react to a tough question, I have a theory.

I don't think we will ever know exactly why bad things ever happen, as long as we are on this earth. However, I have come to a realization, both in talking with others in their struggles and in looking back over my life thus far, that those bad events play a huge role in shaping our lives in various ways.

I'm not going to go Polyanna on you, but I am going to keep this real. I know I am fortunate to have everything that I have had in this life. Have I been blessed with material goods? Absolutely. Is my life a cakewalk? Heck no. Have I had to struggle with life? You betcha. Am I frustrated with certain aspects of my life right now? Yeah - that's why I'm writing this.

While I can't answer why bad things happen, I will say that the bad things can definitely shape who we are as people. We learn. We grow. We become more empathetic to people who go through the same thing. More importantly - these are things we would never have truly known had those bad things not happened.

I'll give you a small yet significant example. I transferred to a public school from a private Baptist school in the fourth grade. At nine years of age, I was the new girl - for the first time in my life. And I was TERRIFIED. I remember praying that someone would at least be nice to me and maybe become my friend. It was really, really tough to make this switch - besides having new people to deal with, there were new rules, new environments, and new cultures. But the best part of this experience was that I became more sensitive to the cause of "new kids". After that year, I always reached out to the new kid in class, even if we didn't always become close friends in the end. It was still worth it, knowing that I may have made a difference for someone, regardless of whether or not it was ever acknowledged.

There is a Hillsongs worship song called "Hosanna", and my favorite part of that song is the bridge:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

Every time I sing that line - break my heart for what breaks yours - I think back to the more difficult times of my life. While I would not honestly volunteer myself as the recipient for more of life's difficulties, I will say that the difficulties in my life have made me a better person. I don't claim to be able to help everyone with their issues - that's God's job!! However, I can listen with an understanding ear if someone talks about the death of a friend, watching a loved one battle with cancer/stroke/heart failure, balancing work and family life, toughing out migraines, dealing with the break-up of a loved one's marriage, managing relationships, going through physical therapy, moving on from a broken heart. And I can pray more specifically for each person.

I prefer not to go into the details of what is currently frustrating me, but I will say that one of the events that prompted me to write this blog entry is the recent death of a distant relative on my mother's side who was far from perfect. Again, I will not give specific details, but most of my relatives do not have fond memories of this individual. He made some very selfish decisions throughout his life. While I have a positive memory or two of this man, I realized that he had somehow allowed the negative things in his life to shape him such that he allowed it to bring out the worst in him. And it angered and saddened me. Why?? Why did he let the bad things win?

It also reminded me how easy it is to let the difficulties in life affect us in that way. We can hold on to it, start pitying ourselves, and become bitter as a result - and eventually it changes our relationships with others, sometimes to a level that cannot be repaired. The only way to stay away from allowing those bad things to drag us down is to trust God and His will for our lives.

Someone once told me to "encourage others, for you never know when you will need to be encouraged". And while many of us in my industry joke that our jobs are all about "mending broken hearts" from a physiological standpoint, there is so much more to an emotionally and spiritually broken heart. I hope that, even through the past, present, and future difficulties, I continue to rely on God to show me where I can help someone else. It's really the only way to win.