The Haters

Haven't blogged in a while, but had a few moments to put some thoughts together on recent occurrences... read on if you don't have a weak stomach. ;-)

The premise: we're not perfect.

It sounds so simple. Yet everyone fights this so hard. Perfectionists struggle with the concept. The media leaves to expose the worst in it. And those who are judgmental (which we all are on occasion) forget this.


Have you ever noticed that we human beings LOVE to bring a man down, then thrash him some more with his own faults? This happens especially when someone is viewed as a high-achiever in a certain field - be it an athlete, politician, entertainer, or academic contributor. The individual who is NOT the high achiever is usually turns into one of two extremes: the brown-noser who practically stalks the high-achiever, or the jealous one who tries to come up with anything to take the high-achiever down.


And what happens to the high-achiever himself? Either his head gets so big that he forgets who he is, or he spends a lonely life trying constantly to defend himself against unfounded claims. (Ladies, for the record, I am not leaving you out of this - only using the male pronouns to be grammatically correct.)


Why? Why does it have to be like this? Would it be so bad if we could recognize the high-achiever with a hearty (and not over-the-top) congratulations? Would it be so bad to allow the high-achiever to feel good about himself without forgetting who he is?


Take Tiger Woods for example. He might very well be the best golfer that ever walked the planet. Yes, he has had some terrible personal issues that most of us definitely do not condone. But why the constant media scrutiny? Why the loaded questions and editorials that he needs to do this or that? And even if he did do everything that every commentator insisted on - would it ever be enough?


The truth is, we live to watch people like Tiger fall. He has had a squeaky clean image for years. Yes, he was living a lie, and things will never be the same since his lie has been revealed. I think that, deep down inside, we're all pretty disappointed in him. But is there a need to keep the tarnish around?


On a more personal level - think about the times that you've been the target of gossip, for no better reason outside of the fact that something was going well for you. (If you were never the victim of gossip, you have either been very fortunate or very unaware of your surroundings.) Does it matter to you what they said? Does it hurt your feelings?


I'm not saying that we should all be void of feelings or opinions - that's different from talking about someone, especially a friend, negatively behind his back. Know that if you are successful in any way, some people WILL talk because they just can't stand being the worse than the successful one. You can't control it. All you can control is what you say about others, so be careful not to do the same to someone else.


And when you find yourself in the middle of a gossipy conversation about someone else, it's probably time to ask yourself... why you hatin'?