I think I've been suffering from disappointment-in-people syndrome. Yeah - a series of things happened this week. And the sad thing is that I can't do anything about it - I can't change the decisions of others, nor can I do anything to convince them to change their minds.

Part of me is mad. Part of me wants to slap these people upside the head and ask them if they've lost their senses. What type of rationale, what type of logic are you following, if any at all? Do you really think your decision solves anything? Do you really think you're helping yourself here? You think of an excuse, try to make it sound good, rehearse it a couple times and spit it out at the people you love when you really mean something else. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING?!

It's frustrating. Especially so because I am an action oriented person. If I don't like something, I go do something about it. But so many of the people I love have just announced that they want to do something in their own way, and it hurts to think that they have made their decisions simply out of indecision. It makes me anxious, and it makes me scared. Yes, I know I can't live their lives for them... and I don't want to be the one who bosses them around and tell them what to do. Nor do I claim to know everything. Nevertheless, their decisions have brought me heartache for THEM. I fear for the consequences of the decisions they are making. I'm not one to say "I told you so", and I hope I never have to do that. But I wish I had one more chance to say what I want to say. I want them to listen to me one more time before they go and screw up their lives.

I guess I just have to be patient - let things play out. The Bible says that love is patient, and although I hate the hurtful decisions and the consequences, I love the people who are making them. And even if they get hurt because of the decisions they made, or I get hurt in the process of watching helplessly, God will always be there for them and me. So thankful for that - because God knows already. Because I can share my true feelings about this with so few people. And fewer really understand.